Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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