I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
