no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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