Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
