I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
jump out the window naked night went bad
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