The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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