I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
