you're like a bully in the Christmas story
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
