my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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