we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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