Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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