Having a random hookup so left but love u
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
