I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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