one two three fourrrrnication!
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
