I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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