omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
