Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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