Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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