he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
