I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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