I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
