i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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