Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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