I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
