i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
