Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You did what with his pubic hair?
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