WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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