I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
