weddingsv make me drug and hornr
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
