the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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