if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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