i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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