Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
