Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
