I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
