he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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