I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
