I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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