Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
