K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
