It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
