And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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