she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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