i don't like sucking hair
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
