Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
