I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
