if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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