you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
