If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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