Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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