just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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