I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
